In God’s Eyes
It’s been a very, very long time since I last posted on this blog, but I’m hopeful that I can turn over a new leaf and start making more regular updates. As one of the co-leaders of a new Christian Youth Group at my school, I thought it would be nice (and give me some structure), if I wrote a blog each week about our ever-changing theme. This week the theme was dating…
You may ask (and would be totally justified in doing so), what makes me qualified to write any kind of reflection about dating? I’ve never dated anyone before and I’ve never had a boyfriend. So maybe it does mean that I don’t have all of the answers when it comes to having relationships, but I think I am more than qualified when it comes to not having them.
Just because I’ve never had a boyfriend doesn’t mean I’ve never wanted one. At times, I want nothing more than to walk down the hall at school holding someone’s hand or to have someone tell me that I am beautiful or that everything will be alright. I’ve wanted all these things before, or maybe just the idea of them. I thought that having a boyfriend would make me feel special, important, valued.
As I searched for affirmation in all the wrong places, I realized something. I already have all those things. I already am all those things. I may not get to change my facebook status to “in a relationship,” but I have a God who is always there with me, guiding me, whispering from the depths of my heart that everything will be alright. I have a God who thinks I am beautiful, just the way I am; who made me for a special purpose, who made me unlike anyone else on this earth. He loves me, no matter what I do, and He will never hurt me, never break my heart, never let me down. I am special in His eyes. Why do I need a boy to see that with my own?
This doesn’t mean I don’t ever want a boyfriend and it doesn’t mean I still don’t like romance or want to get married someday. All it means is that when I date, I’ll date for the right reasons. I won’t feel the need to have a boyfriend just for the sake of having one, but when the right guy comes into my life, I’ll be ready for him. Although I won’t change to fit his standards, he’ll be someone who can bring out the best in me. God has this “Mr. Right” already planned out; I am sure of that. All I have to do is wait. And while this waiting can seem hard at times, I have the knowledge that God’s timing is perfect to comfort me. And if I ever get lonely or scared, God’s arms are the safest place to run.