Category: Non-fiction

Life and the Art of Writing

Writing a novel is a lot like life.

I’ve realized this, or at least it’s been coming to me slowly, as I work on my latest book. The idea seemed to float through my mind months ago, but then it was only several strands… unconnected, undefined. It began to play out in my thoughts, becoming clearer and more colourful as imagined situations took shape. Before long, I was excited, ready to begin on what I already knew to be a lengthy and arduous journey.

Perhaps what I’m saying is that life is that journey. We don’t have the power to plan out our lives like a writer who structures the plot carefully around their action. We really don’t have much control at all. But we do have dreams. Our minds flit to possibilities that are endlessly appealing, and imaginations are often unbridled. We see the way we want our life to be and expect it to fit within our mould.

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Letters to Myself: Words or Wisdom

You’ll never be happy if you keep comparing yourself to others.

I know that you know that. But it’s so hard to live, isn’t it? It’s so hard to escape from the mindset that being different equals inadequacy, that not doing what the world says you should do means you are wrong and misguided.

Stop listening to the voices. Stop listening to the pressures that speak in the night, the ones that tell you that you are not enough, that you are a failure who has chosen poorly. You are forging your own path. No one else can come there with you, because they are not you. But there is a reason, a reason for every step. Please believe me.

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The Perils of People Pleasing

I have never been the kind of person who is eager to spark conflict or garner hostility. I suppose most people don’t deliberately create confrontation, but I’m not referring to a disposition merely not inclined to seeking ill will. In my case, it might be more accurately described as avoidance.

Perhaps it’s due to overthinking. Does everyone exhaust all the gruesome possibilities of unfavourable reactions from others? For every actual conversation, my mind fabricates many more divergent paths, unpleasant outcomes that will surely arise if I say something to ruffle the feathers of my companion.

What should I say? What will she think if I say that? She might be upset. I think she might be mad
at me. Oh no! I said it. I can’t tell if she’s mad at me now. She might be offended. What is she thinking about me now?

Sometimes reason responds quite succinctly: Why do you care?

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The Vision

What would a life look like without fear?

I don’t pretend to have the answer.

I have frequently fallen victim to fear, disarmed by its silent attacks, a prisoner of the worries it spins out of empty air. I have been tentative, tiptoeing around the fears I have buried, anticipating shadows surely lurking in wait. Fear is a presence I know well, the kind of enemy that, once eradicated, never stays away for long.

No. I’m not entirely sure what a life looks like without fear.

But I know that I want to find out.

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Receiving

That time of year has come again. Valentine’s Day. The day on which a lucky few receive chocolate and flowers and are lavished with love and affection. The day on which the rest of us wish we were on the other side.

What is it we feel we’re missing? Love may seem like the obvious answer, but we still have family and friends who care about us deeply. So where does the stigma of being “single on Valentine’s Day” come from? And why does the absence of a significant other qualify one as “alone?”

One of the utmost longings of the human heart is the desire for love. We want it. We crave it. But what is it about love that draws us in? Although most of us have been loved since the moment of our birth, those childhood attachments somehow seem insufficient.

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Knowledge isn’t Power

Throughout my life, I’ve often been confronted with this simple phrase: “Knowledge is power.” I’ve always assumed it was true. The more you know, the better off you are. The more you know, the more likely you are to succeed. Perhaps ignorance is bliss, but wouldn’t you rather be powerful? Wouldn’t you rather have control? Wouldn’t you rather know all the things that are important, to be able to shape your life carefully and always keep your footing firm?

Knowledge is pretty significant in our world. But does it provide power?

I’m not so sure.

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Who do you think I am?

Who am I?

It’s the age-old struggle, the question we’ve all asked ourselves at least once in our lives. This search for our genuine identity begins when we are young and never seems to be completely done. There’s peace with continued self-discovery, but is there ever a point where one can at last leave the doubts behind and say “Aha! That is who I am”? As I ask this very question to myself, I can’t help but sing the familiar strains of the song “Who am I” from Les Miserables. So perhaps before going on, I’ll take a brief musical interlude.

Jean Valjean’s moral dilemma brings to mind the difficulties involved when attempting to create a new identity. We probably haven’t escaped slavery and then adopted a new persona as mayor of a small town, but there may be pieces of our past that we’d like to leave behind. Haven’t you ever wanted to start anew? Think of the possibilities, of the freedom, the power. Imagine if you moved to a completely different city where no one knew you at all. Then you could be whoever you wanted to be. Couldn’t you?

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Wanting

What do you want most?

It’s a pretty broad question. But some things must flash forward: notions of happiness and love, certain landmarks in life you long to reach. But is there just one thing that could satisfy? Could one thing ever be enough? Enough to stop the pining, enough to feel content… Enough to treasure each precious breath instead of watching the horizon for our someday etched in the starry night sky.

It’s easy to believe that the acquisition of one success would colour our world bright again. Problems rise like mountains before us, blocking our view of what lies beyond. Desire to see the other side, to see that the valley that follows is green and full of promise and not barren and bleak, is overwhelming. The path over the mountain always seem to take a different twist or turn, yet still I reach the valley and it is everything I hoped, just not in the way that I hoped. But the bliss, the relief of reprieve is momentary. The steady surface does not last.

I want success. I want happiness. I want love. I want to see my dreams fulfilled. I would hardly be human if I didn’t.

The question that remains is this: are those the things I want most?

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True Triumph

Happy Christmas Eve! It’s crazy to think that this day is already upon us. In some ways, the last couple of months seem to have stretched out for a lifetime, but in other ways it feels like they’ve passed by so fast. A lot has changed for me in the last few months. Before September, I had never been away from home for more than three nights, and now I’ve lived on my own for almost four months!!! Although many obstacles have been present along the way, the feeling after overcoming these minor and major roadblocks is so much better than if they had not been there in the first place. It makes me think of the following quote: “Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful” (-Joshua J. Marine).

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One Little Thing

One little thing…

One little strand that goes astray; a tiny fragment of life that’s out of order. The other pieces seem unimportant in light of the one that has fallen, the one that is out of place.

Narrowed focus has become my burden. I pay too much attention. I dwell. If only I could widen my gaze. If only I could shift my eyes from the shadows and look into the light.

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