Openness

 We often become so consumed with the things we do not have, that we do not recognize or appreciate the things that are ours. We become so consumed with the person we think we should or would like to be, that we fail to see or accept the person that we are. We become so consumed with the places we are not (and that we might have been), that we neglect to notice the places in which we are. These gifts we spurn because we do not see them as gifts, are gifts nonetheless, gifts regardless of where they fall on our scale of a “good life.”

A good life is not one in which the requisite boxes are all checked, but one that is good for you and you only. The absolute determination of this good is beyond our capacity. Thus there is no definition or model of a good life. To live a good life you must be open to the fluidity of the moment, an openness that encompasses and embraces deviations from your own plans, the plans of others and the plans you feel you should have followed but did not. It is the far-spreading sickness of regret and the fruitlessness of fear that prevent such openness. We are not open and so we are unable to receive the gifts that come to us moment by moment. We cannot receive them, because our lack of mindfulness blocks us from recognizing their beauty. We see them but do not see them as they really are, and this is all the difference.

A similar thing happens pertaining to identity. Many people will see you but not as you really are. We are likely, at times, to have this same problem even with our own selves. You may see and think of yourself (these thoughts are omnipresent), without seeing yourself as you really are. In this scenario, you project external personas and idealized visions onto yourself, and these are incompatible with the deepest reality of your selfhood. Again, both with ourselves and with other people, this occurs because there is a lack of openness. Openness permits the free movement of life, hope and love, whereas its opposite only cultivates stagnation and an ever-encroaching “culture of death” which no longer believe in life, its potential, or the redemption of so-called wasted choice or freedom.

How can we become more open? Openness is tied to stillness. This does not necessarily entail an external silence but an internal stillness: a stillness of spirit. Rather than a constant clamouring for attention, self-justification and approval, (which, even from the place of insecurity and low self-esteem, quickly devolves into egoism), there is a centre of peace. This centre of peace allows recognition and contemplation of the current moment. It does not proceed to make judgement too quickly and in the process see things in a way that belies their true nature. Instead, the stillness within prevents a rush to judgement and a constant turning back to and judgement of self. This analysis and frequent condemnation of self is replaced by a calm loving gaze that gives other things the time, space and freedom to be and so allows the beholder to be as well.

By refusing not only negativity but even to begin down the shadowy path of speculative thoughts that detract from the moment and resolve or accomplish nothing, this stillness promotes a mindfulness which in turn leads to a recognition and rejoicing in the gift. Put this way, goodness and clear sight grow out of not only an openness to life and its unique blessings and fruits, but also a firm closure to the dark, fruitless and distant things that exclude life. Just as man cannot serve both Mammon and God, he also cannot split his consciousness in multiple directions, being open to both the moment and the unique truth and fullness of life, as well as to the flood of past and future considerations and judgements. A choice must be made, to which things man will face or reject, open himself to or close himself off from.

The beauty lies in this ability to choose not just once but again and again. Herein lies also the struggle, yet it is a struggle that should not be feared so much as understood and accepted. In accepting the struggle, we do not resist negative thoughts and feelings but acknowledge them and turn to a more life-giving source. In understanding the struggle, we possess the deep-seated knowledge that all things pass, except the guidance given to sustain us through these fleeting storms. In this openness to life and to struggle, we can be truly free to recognize and follow a distinct, unmatched calling with courage, grace and trust.